By Claire Gibson from the June 2011 Edition
I had to laugh the other day when I saw this young man go barreling through a group of people in his rush to be first off the Skytrain, (our light rail transit system). No, that isn’t the part that made me laugh, that is usually the part that makes my blood boil and I am pretty sure it was then too.
Anyway, he barreled out of the train and went striding up the escalator a couple of steps at a time. Oh, I forgot to mention, this guy had a coffee in one hand, books and a bag in his other, and needed one more hand or his teeth to hold up his pants. He was trying really hard to keep his pants up, his balance stable and his possessions in grasp when he was charging up the escalator. When he got to the top, I think he forgot he would be on flat level ground again, because his pants and coffee and books nearly all came down as he lurched forward.
Now, if this guy had taken a moment to understand these few key points when he got dressed in the morning it may have saved him some grief and perhaps some time.
When wearing your pants with the crotch around your knees, the stride of your legs is greatly reduced.
Secondly, when the belt is worn around the base of your butt, or the top of your thighs, there is no shaping to your body to help hold these things up.
Finally when wearing your pants a foot lower than they were intended to be worn, the extra fabric must go somewhere. Usually underfoot!
Wearing pants below the waist originated in prison. Inmates were not allowed to have belts because they might have used it to commit suicide or start fights, therefore, their pants would sag. Sagging was also a sign of homosexuality. Gay prisoners would sag as a sign of sexual availability (excerpt off the world wide net)
The chances of successfully running on flat ground or scaling a staircase, moving or not, are greatly diminished. I would give this guy an 80% chance of getting where he wanted to go within a reasonable time. The caveat to this statement is he must be able to lift the legs of his pants off the ground so his feet can move freely, or wear enormous shoes to serve the same purpose, and hold the waistband of his pants high enough to both prevent it from falling down and to adjust the crotch up a few inches thus allowing his knees to spread further than 8 inches apart.
Introduce a cup hot coffee, assumedly with an opened sipping lid, in one hand, the other hand filled with a bag and some books, possibly text books. The types of books are only important in this picture, to add weight to the load. There is no possible way the lad can use his coffee hand to assist in pant holding, or he would just pour the hot liquid down his pants, which by the way, presents a very funny alternate image. He is relegated to using a finger or two of his “booked” hand for the task. For this reason, I must change my success rating to about 50%, and it is that high only due to the general coordination of the age range.
“Come On People: On the Path from Victims to Victors”, Bill Cosby writes: “And what’s really unfortunate is that the beltless, droopy-drawered look you see on the streets is a fashion straight out of prison. Boys like the defiance of the look, and some make it part of their permanent identity, but that look doesn’t get anyone a job.
I don’t know if I can say I was lucky and did not see him fall or unlucky. I would hate to see him wounded but it would produce serious peals of laughter to see him sprawling out on the ground at the train station, coffee flying one way, books flying the other, big baggy jeans down around his knees, and his “Star Wars logo covered boxers lifted high off the ground for the world to see.
Claire Gibson lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada with her husband, their family, three dogs and a rabbit. Every day she travels 2 hours each way by train into Vancouver to work. She has many tall tales to tell and will be a frequent visitor in the future to Manzanillo Sun pages.
Cities drafting, drafted, or revoked laws against
Stratford Conn. rejected 2007
Mansfield La. MAX 150.00plus costs/15days
Delcambre La. MAX $500/6 MONTHS
Virginia(state) rejected 2005
Lousiana (State) rejected 2004 and April 2008
Baltimore Md. under consideration
Charlotte NC. under consideration
Trenton NJ. drafting ordinance
Atlanta Ga. drafting amendment to indecency laws
Riviera Beach Fla. illegal 150.00
Lynwood Ill. illegal 25.00
Flint Mich. 500.00/3 months
Palm Beach Fla. illegal
Florida (State) Bill passed
First offence-verbal warning
2nd offence – no curricular activities further offence – 3 day suspension
Hillsborough and Pinella Counties Policies exist in schools
Arkansas (state) legislation planned
Evanston Ill. drafting revision of public nudity
Opa-locka, Fla; Pine Lawn, Ms.; Dallas, Tx; Tallahassee, Fla.; Pine Bluff, Ar; some schools in southern Miss., and even Ostermalmsskolan, a school in Stockholm, Sweden has created a ban against sagging.