A Tale of Two Lively Lassies – Anne Bonny & Mary Read

By Shine Dawson from the April 2010 Edition

Hark, come hither, come down here I say. For a true story to tell I’ll tell it my way. ‘Bout two lassie Pyrates that bound up their breasts.To pass as a mate they would rival the best.

Anne Bonny was born to her father and maid Astonished the wife, and “vowed they must pay”. For sins of her husband, they did constantly quarrel. So he pulled up his stakes, lock stock and barrel.

He took the fair lassie, his maid and his wealth. Hit the high seas for Anne’s better health. For sickly she was as a child they say. She was viscous and mean and she spat everyday.

For Carolina he thought he’d have better luck. So he bought a plantation and there Anne was stuck. For she hated her mother, her new place of being. Anne stabbed mothers’ belly and she was only 13.

She knew what she wanted and knew how to get it. The plantation was prosperous, and the money they split it. She loathed the plantation, her father and found. “Tis a fire I’ll set and it burned to the ground”.

And now we are here to talk of another Mary Read was born, and with her a brother. For twins they were, but the boy he fell ill. There was naught to be done, he was found deadly still.

Her mother was fretting and ached for her honey.For granny loved boys and she had the money. So Mary was dressed in boys’ pantaloons.To deceive the old woman that supplied the doubloons.

The granny had died and left them to squander, So mother decided to pick up and wander. Through England they roamed and they roamed, To find quiet lodgings and call it a home.

“Enough” said Mary and she went on her way. For the New World was calling, a voice then did say, “Commission yourself on a ship sailing east” For booty and riches that’s sure bound to please.

With her roving young spirit she wanted much more. So she joined the Queens’ Navy ‘board a great Man-o-War. The position she landed to serve with her mate. Her secret was kept ‘till one day-it was fate.

She boarded the vessel in the cloths of a man. Took position as powder monkey and there she did stand,The canons were ready to fire at will.

She was brave and courageous and was out for the kill. She wanted much better for she served as the best. So she went to the Captain and made her request. To have a position of much greater standing. She would do as he say, with all his demanding.

She went below deck, the Captain she sought, Was told he would see her, for busy he’s not. He gave her the duty of mending the tack. ‘Twas Captain John Rackham known as “Calico Jack”.

Astonished she was and she accepted his offers.For more booty she’d earn from each and all coffers.. He smiled at Mark Read, for that’s how they’d meet. Her Captain Calico Jack with ugly green teeth.

She turned ‘round to leave to go back up on deck, When Calico Jack said “I’m not done with you yet. For here is a mate you will meet here today” ‘Twas young Anne Bonny and dressed the same way.

They took a young fancy to each others lookings. Calico Jack said to Mary “You just keep on cooking”. For he sensed something’s wrong at thus he was loathing. For he looked once again.They are in the same clothing.

Anne Bonny that night saw Mary and said. “You look quite like me- there is a secret I dread. I dress like a man but I fight with the best” She pulled up her shirt and exposed her bare breasts.

Mary said “Aye” I know your deception. For I am like you, the exact same reflection. I am here for the pieces of eight that they swindle. For dressed as a woman my chances would dwindle.

With boldness and courage they fought with such daring. To hide from their mates the secret they were sharing. With cutlass, muskatoon and pistols at arm. The sailors they fought, they did them more harm.

They cut at their noses their eyes and their ears, They lanced at their hearts and left them in tears. “Get up you poor bastards” and then Anne just said. “I’ll cut off yer balls and then I’ll cut off yer heads”.

‘Twas Mary and Anne that led all the men. To the ships they had captured then scuttled and then. They fought to the death fer it was gold that they scored. For the rest of the crew, they threw overboard.

It was ship after ship that these pyrates then boarded. With ruthless and cunning the booty they hoarded. When all said and done ‘twas 20 ships captured. They toasted their fortunes of the deeds they had mastered.

‘Twas 1718 there was a new proclamation From England it came to serve this New Nation Of freedom for pyrates if they turned themselves in To the court in Jamaica to be tried for their sins.

Calico Jack thought it over and then he did heed But Mary and Anne said that is not what we need For we’ll fight to our deaths and each man if willing Will stay on this ship for 10 extra shillings.

They set sail that morning and off to their aft. They caught sight of a frigate heading into their path. The crew was frightened and startled and scared Heading below deck thinking ’tis they who’d be spared.

“Get up here and fight you cowards you bastards, ‘Tis my cutlass you’ll feel and you’ll be quarter mastered” Mary opened the hold and with pistols she aimed Killing one of the crew- wounding 4 more in vain.

The English then boarded the galleon of Jacks’ To find only 2 that weren’t going back.
They fought with a vengeance, outnumbered by many To know that the crew down below- there were plenty.
They captured the 2 and the rest of the sort.Took them back to Jamaica and tried them in court.In shackles and chains they went to stand trial. All marched two by two in strict rank and file.

I plead for my belly Anne Bonny did say,Mary Read then spoke up “I am in the same way”.“For the bastards you carry I pity you not,‘Tis my prison you’ll stay, and there you will rot”.

The jailers they took the two lassies back.And there they saw him-It was Calico Jack.He was hanging by shackles and getting the flog.If he had fought like a man he wouldn’t die like a dog.

For history recorded Mary did rot in. And died of malaria and never would sail,jail.For her baby went with her to Hell and not Heaven.That jail killed them both- she was but 27.

Anne Bonny they say no records were found.All hoped in vain she’s 6 feet underground.For these 2 lassies fought with pride and great glee. Left a great mark in history of these pyrates at sea.

Young lassie’s now listen, a moral to test. To be a great pyrate you need not bind your breasts. You just shake your shimmy with your young firm asses. Just look at those pyrates and bat your eye lashes.

‘Fer You must be wary of men like that Jack. For he’ll lead you astray and never turn back. So the history you know, so now listen up please. Stay away from those pyrates with ugly green teeth.

Ask any pyrate who roams the high seas. Of the hauntings of Anne Bonny and young Mary Read. So now my fair readers you ask what is next, I am sorry to say, I’ve run out of text.

Download the full edition or view it online

>